Wisdom: According to Odin

 Today I was reading the Havamal and came across the bit where Odin warns against gaining too much wisdom.  This made me think about how wise one is to heed this advice and not gain too much wisdom (knowledge).  I have been pursuing my degree and working really hard to gain wisdom in a certain area of life. I didn't want any document to tell me that what I was doing was against the wit and wisdom of any group, but then I took some time to look into it deeper and came to a realization about it. 

Here are the verses from the Havamal that are talking about wisdom. 

54.
Wise in measure let each man be;
but let him not wax too wise;
for never the happiest of men is he
who knows much of many things.

55.
Wise in measure should each man be;
but let him not wax too wise;
seldom a heart will sing with joy
if the owner be all too wise.

56.
Wise in measure should each man be,
but ne'er let him wax too wise:
who looks not forward to learn his fate
unburdened heart will bear.

Looking at this he is not saying that we should not seek wisdom, or even live in a way that makes us dumb.  He is saying that each man should be wise, and have a knowledge of things. But in verse 54 he warns that the constant pursuit of wisdom can create a void where it is hard to be happy.  If your only goal in life is to be knowledgeable then you are going to miss out on things that will make you happy.  After all the fools are most often the happiest among us. 55 tells us the same thing.  Knowledge does not bring us joy, in fact the more we know of the world around us the less we find joy in the small things. So though wisdom and knowledge is good and a great thing to pursue if we become too wise we will lack the joy that discovery brings. The last verse (56) talks about how one should not seek to know their own fate.  If we know of how and when we are to die we will live our life in fear of that day, rather than finding joy in the life that we do live. 

Overall I do not think that the men of the north, the pre-Christian Scandinavians, were arguing about not becoming wise.  They were instead trying to teach their people that wisdom is good but should not be the only pursuit that one has in life.  I am no longer frustrated with the fact that Odin argued against knowledge but instead excited by the fact that he took the time to make sure that the people's minds and hearts were on things that make them happy. 

Works Cited: 

Ashliman, D., n.d. Hávamál. [online] Pitt.edu. Available at: <https://pitt.edu/~dash/havamal.html> [Accessed 23 February 2021].

Finding My Chords

 One thing that I have learned from starting to work on music production is that sometimes the only thing one needs to change the tune from an almost horrible sounding monstrosity to a happy little ear worm is the right chords.  Sometimes one finds these chords through messing around on the computer, on a keyboard, strumming a guitar, or just taking a nap.  

In my personal life I have been dealing with some borderline depression.  This week has been especially bad as I felt a bit like I was on an island and nobody was coming to rescue me, this three hour tour was supposed to be over already by the way....   Let me off this island so I can get back to living.  In regards to life I have been a poorly keyed song.  There is just something off about my chord progression and I am almost unlistenable.  (Sorry there are a lot of references there and I don't even know what I am trying to say anymore.)

Yesterday I was sitting at home, working on some music, when I felt the need to emote.  And not like an emoticon emote but an actual heartfelt need for some sentiment.  I picked up a ukulele that I had bought almost 20 years ago and just started plucking for inspiration.  There was something about the sound of those strings that took me to a different place. I was transported to college where I first heard that sound, I was transported to a remote island and plucking strings under a palm tree in the sand, I was taken away from my shitty existence and placed somewhere else.  It was nice. It made me feel like I was genuinely happy, and that was a nice feeling.  The other good thing about life is that as I was plucking these strings I came up with an idea for a new song which really made me happy, though defeated the point as I was trying to finish my current song.  

My biggest take away from this experience is sometimes we just need to take some time to pluck for inspiration.  We need to sometimes take some time to try new things, try things outside of the box, and find ourselves in the strange.  I am glad that I had this experience because it did help me to learn more about what it takes to find yourself when the world seems the darkest.  

What Is The Worst That Could Happen?

 I have been working through a book that is meant to unleash my creativity.  For the longest time I never pursued my creative side, mostly out of fear of others so I decided to publicly do an exercise called "The Worst."  In this exercise one is to share some of their greatest fears in regard to unleashing your creativity, your weird, your uniqueness upon the world.

My biggest fears:

• Rejection- What if people say I'm not good enough, or tell me that I should spend some time searching for something more logical to do. 
• Hate- I am scared to death of hate.  I always choke up, shorten my stride, lose all forms of self confidence around hate. If I were to be in the public eye and received hate I am not sure how I would respond. 
• That whatever I'm working on is really good.  - I know this one sounds strange because success isn't something to fear, right?  Wrong.  If I were to hit it out of the park and do amazing on an endeavor would I be able to repeat, would people still treat me as me and not as something different (I've always been the strange kid why would I want folks to treat me like that again?)  
• Fake Friends - as someone who has never really had a strong sense of bonding with other than one or two people in my life I don't know how to recognize a friend. 
• Negative Feedback- similar to hate, what if people don't like what I have created? what if they are bold enough to tell me to my face? 
• That not only strangers but actual friends and family don't like what I have created.  How embarrassing would it be if your mother told you not to quit your day job.  I think I would die inside.  Or even worse,  what if my wife told me that it was the crappiest thing that she has ever read/heard/listened to.  Oh the humanity!!!!!!!

Looking at this list I think that I feel a little better. After all creativity, though something to be shared, is more for the benefit of the creator.  If you all are ever unsure of yourself perhaps an exercise like this can help you out as well.  

We are Making Music Now

 One of the things that always scared me when I was a kid was to play music.  I was always jealous of my older siblings who had the chance to take piano lessons especially later in life but I know why my mother never let me.  (She was very nervous that I would give up on it, I did have a very long track record for giving up on different activities.)  I tried to teach myself piano later in life but it didn't stick.  This didn't stick for two reasons: 1. I didn't have the drive to really deep dive into the craft and so I didn't spend a lot of time practicing, and 2. I didn't have any idea what I was doing and didn't have a mentor to help me learn how to play.  

My uncle is an amazing musician who has honed his craft and if given the chance would probably go play in one of those majestic concert halls in NYC.  Most of my cousins have some amazing musical skills and I feel a little left out when it comes to playing music.  I have always considered myself creative.  I love to be creative, and the way that I create is unique to me (thanks Felicia Day for helping me find this fact out with an exercise about a cat in your latest book).  Over the last two months or so I have been dealing with an injury that has kept me off the hiking trails and out of the gym.  The world seems to be falling apart and I feel that I can't make any sense out of it, let alone try to make a difference in it.  All of these things keep adding up and I find that I am more and more retreating into a place of internal turmoil that I am unable to share with anyone.  

Stepping back I found that I had a bit of a talent for, or at least the ability to, make easy chord progressions and rhythmic beats.  I threw myself whenever I felt loss, out of control, or in need of someone to listen to me into the world of music production.  In a strange way I feel that my lack of musical training may have helped me not get stuck into a loop of control but has given me the ability to really express myself and all of the frustrations that I have been feeling into a form of music.  On my YouTube I have published a single song that was kind of horrible but it felt like I could share a bit of my soul with the world.  Maybe I'll be able to share more in the future that won't sound as poorly constructed.  

So I guess this long post is more about me learning to accept my own strangeness and share myself with the world.  We are definitely making music now and it feels so amazing.  

Where the Water Goes: Review

 "Where the Water Goes: Life and Death Along the Colorado River" by David Owen is a book that opens the readers eyes to many of the issues that affect the western United States.  The premise of this book is to travel the length of the Colorado River from its headwaters in the mountains all the way to its dried up delta in Mexico. David Owen is a columnist for the New Yorker and his ability to tell a story makes this book almost read like a novel and not like a conservation guide.  In a way that is one of the best things that could happen to a book of this type as water law is about as exciting to read about as it is to watch paint dry. 

As stated above, the book starts at the snow pack of the Rocky Mountains.  We see canals that drive the water across a continental divide and into a different river basin, see reservoirs and canals to sustain urban growth, dams and power stations to support agriculture, and eventually the issues with a river that travels many miles in mineral rich river beds and the effects of salination from the rivers journey.  Every chapter had a place of interest, except the last chapter, and some stories about the people and water uses that Owen encountered there.  These subtopics of each chapter made the book feel like an adventure story, almost as if you are following one droplet of water from falling as snow in the mountains to growing lettuce in Baja California, Mexico. 

Some of the most interesting facts that I learned from this book is that Las Vegas doesn't use as much water as one would imagine a city in the middle of the high desert would, in fact they return more water then they take out. I also learned how bad the salt situation is as the river gets ready to cross to Mexico and the way that lawyers in USA have created a bad deal for farmers in Mexico.  My biggest take away from reading this book is that there are a lot of smart people trying to make sure that the river can continue to help sustain the growth of California, Arizona, and Colorado but we really have no idea what is to be done.  

This book made me walk away thinking about all the ways that I am wasteful in my life.  I do not need to run the dishwasher every evening, I do not need to take a 10 minute shower, I do not need to water my lawn every day (once I have a lawn that is).  I also put the book down and thought about all the pollution that we are putting in our waterways.  I consider myself environmentally aware but not an environmentalist by any means, but I have a strong desire to stop using any single use plastic at all.  I also almost don't want to wear cotton because of the strain it puts on the water tables but then I'm not sure what I would wear.  Maybe we should all go back to wearing animal skins and furs..... who knows what is the right answer there. 

Overall I give this book a 4 out of 5.  There were parts where the story seemed to diverge from the topic at large a bit too much, though enjoyable it did not add to the story, and the final chapter had a completely different voice from the rest of the book.  I did enjoy it and would highly recommend it to any who wish to learn more about the way water is used or figure out if there is a way to preserve what little fresh water we actually have in the world.   

Crisis Of Faith

 This post is going off the rails.  I have been struggling this week with a lot of questions regarding who I am, what my purpose is, and other self depredating questions.  This has led me to look deep in myself, and though I don't have the answers yet I feel that putting these thoughts out here might help me organize them in my mind.   Who knows maybe this side journey will help you all find some truths in your own life, at least that is the hope for my own. 

First crisis I have been experiencing is a struggle with value.  My wife and I do not see eye to eye on the value of money.  I don't care for it. It is a tool that helps us survive to me but to her it is a way to prove herself as worthwhile.  Normally we move through this very easily but for some reason I have been looking deep within myself this week after a budgeting disagreement and I feel that I have let her down.  I start so many projects that I never have the legs to finish which causes undue pain, especially when it comes to money and the making of it.  One of the goals of this blog was to try and live a life closer to nature and to find value elsewhere but as I pursue this I feel that I need to find a better paying job, I need to finish my degree, I need to go work for the corporate elites and fight my way to the top. It is hard for me to decide where to put my values.  I know that I value free thought, creativity, and the pursuit of joy over anything money related but for some reason I feel that I have to give myself up in order to live a life better filled.  

My second crisis is one of faith.  I have some family members that have embraced a more natural path towards salvation.  They have been looking at alternative faiths or in some cases developing their own spirituality.  Growing up in the Mormon church I was always taught that there was only one path to the highest degree of heaven.  Once I was in college I found that I did not really feel comfort in the church and stopped going. I still go for my families sake when we get together for the holidays but I really find no peace in the organized religion of Mormonism.  This week I have started to struggle with questions regarding the actual reality of Jesus, heaven, hell, and all that most western faiths are built on.  I began to think of Jesus as a tool of the Roman empire to make their citizens worship one faith in order to conquer and maintain power across the world.  I may be wrong but this crisis of faith has caused some sadness as I start to question whether all that I have been taught is real or not.  As I have looked at the books and research of the more earth based faiths I have found some truth but I do not feel peace in them either.  If anything I am starting to wonder whether religion is real or just a construct to maintain power over a populace. 

The final struggle this week is in my value as a writer.  I have always loved to create.  I would go out of my way to write through any and all problems that came up but I was always too shy to share my musing with the world.  In fact I have started many of these blogs that I had every intention of sharing with the world that I end up not following through because of my own insecurities and the small inner voice that nags at me about how nobody would enjoy that, or you are not worthy of anything good.  It is a hard voice to smack down. I feel drawn to the pull of its constant interference. My hope is that I will not be giving into it this time and that I will be able to push through the uncomfortable feelings of putting myself out there and that I will be able to at least follow this goal of mine.  I fear that I will not be able to keep this up but I promise that I will try as hard as I can to post at least once a week in order to keep the dream alive.  

Thank you all for taking the time to read this.  I know that personal journals are not always the most fun to read but if they give you an insight into your lives, into my life, or in any way help you understand me a bit better then I believe that it is a win.  See you next week as we look at the book "Where the Water Goes" and discuss the conservation of water along the Colorado River. 

Alaska's Grizzly Gauntlet from National Geographic

 Hello everyone.  It has been a couple of weeks and I apologize for taking some time off of writing here but life has a way of getting crazy. I have been thinking about what I wanted to write about for this weeks post and realized that I have watched an amazing series on Disney plus called Grizzly Guantlet and I thought it would be kind of cool to share my thoughts with you all about the series. 

When I was a child I very much wanted to work with animals.  At one point I thought I wanted to be a cattle rancher because there was nothing more exciting than being a cowboy, at least in my mind.  I then moved on to loving to hike and backpack with my father and then later with the Boy Scouts of America. At the university level I enjoyed my biology courses the most which is why I actually watched this show. 

Summary and Thoughts:

This show follows photojournalist and adventurer Les Stroud as he tries to get in close with different wildlife in the Alaskan Frontier.  In the first episode he goes to Kodiak Island and follows a group of brown bears as they gorge themselves on salmon before the hibernation season begins.  He is even able to capture a juvenile brown bear putting her scent on one of his field cams, a very cool and precious moment if I do say so myself.  The best part of this first episode is the look at a family of bears where a cub is lost, learns to survive on its own, and is reunited with it mother.  

In the second episode we travel north to a small island where polar bears have started to come into town. This episode is one that I think everyone that wants to live a more green, or conservation minded, life should watch.  It shows the problems that our receding ice shelf is placing on the bear populations of the north. I never thought of bears as being the most intelligent beings in the natural world but this episode changed my mind on that.  We hear stories of patrols that are sent to look out for bears and how the bears learned to hide in the shadows and avoid them almost like they were extras in the movie "The Great Escape".  This is an absolutely sobering look at the struggle these massive animals are going through as their means of  migration and hunting have been taken away from them.

I don't want to give too much away from the remaining three episodes as they are equally informative and entertaining but I have to wrap this short summary up here soon.  In the remaining episodes Les travels by helicopter and sees the Caribou in their natural environment.  We see how these majestic animals scout out predators and the way the herds have adapted for survival.  We then travel to get up close and personal with moose.  That is one animal that I would avoid if I ever cam across one as they are frightening. We finish off the series checking out the salmon spawning season in black bear country.  Another amazing look at how animals have evolved to survive and what it looks like.

Overall:

I highly recommend that you all take a moment out of your lives and watch this show. It lit a fire under me to do all I can to help save the arctic and the animals that are threatened because of the loss of our polar ice caps and ice shelfs. It doesn't only paint a picture that is grim for the animals of the Arctic circle, it also paints a grim picture for the people that live and work in the arctic. 

I rate it a 4 out of 5 because of the awareness it brought us and the information that it shares.